Tuesday, June 2, 2009


I am licensed to drive a motor vehicle.

I am licensed to drive a motorcycle.

I used to be licensed to drive large tandem-axle trucks, but I don't need that anymore, so now I'm not.

I may have to get a boat operator's license in order to rent a b-b-b-b-b-bass boat.

I have a fishing license.

I used to get a hunting license every fall but we don't need moose meat to feed our family anymore, so now I don't.

I never had a trapping license but I still set traps to catch weasels and minks that would otherwise violate my henhouse. Likewise, I shot beavers with impunity.

I was co-purchaser of a marriage license, good for two weeks until traded in for a marriage certificate. I still need to pull out the certificate to prove I'm also the person on my birth certificate, in order to complete various and sundry legal hoop-jumps.

I didn't need a license to be born or give birth. Go figure.

I have free license to enjoy myself so long as my activities and pursuits do not impinge upon the rights and freedoms of my compatriots.

Alas, I do not have a Double-O-Seven license to kill.


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