Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Scaring Myself Silly

and pertinent instructions - skip to the end of this posting if you are impatient.

It's Advent, and what do I do for entertainment this evening? Scare myself with a scary movie.

Now, as these things go it isn't all that scary - on a 1-to-10 scale kinda thing, I suppose it would properly be called a suspenseful movie. Anyway, I was doing some small shopping at Stupidstore and noticed that 'The Dark Knight' was on sale, so I bought it. And have been watching it. Sort of.

I like the idea of scary movies but I really don't 'do' them very well. My kids will tell you I'm their biggest annoyance if we're watching one together at home, especially if they've seen it before. I want to know ahead of time what's going to happen, to alleviate the tension. That truly exasperates son Marlon.

He knows me so well, he acts as my movie screener: "Mom, you'll have to watch this one twice because you'll have your hands over your eyes too much." or "Mom, don't waste your money." Better still, "Sure, go ahead." and then he waits and chuckles.

My love-hate relationship with scary movies goes waaaaaay back. Dad could judge the scare-factor of any movie by the number of times mom or I or both of us excused ourselves from the action for a drink of water or a Kleenx or a pee break - he knew better. She still does that.

Theatres are almost impossible for me because if you leave the show, you can't rewind/play to catch what you missed. That's why I love DVDs. It's taken me twice as long as most people to watch the show because I have to load the clothes washer/unload and put wet things in the dryer/fold dried clothes/make a cup of tea/type on my blog......

Once the tension of the moment has subsided, I can handle the next ickky thing that's going to happen.

I'm a Heath Ledger fan from back before he was a big and now unfortunately dead star. My favorite movie of his is 'The Order', where he plays a sin eater. Very good, little known show. I remember the first time I saw him - can't think for a moment the name of the show, he played a knight wannabe in a story full of (oh man, I'm losing it -what's the word for when a story has events that are out of real-timeline order?) - was it called 'A Knight's Tale'? This why I will not play movie trivia games!!!

So, back to the movie, and I will be in a minute or two. I need Bryan here to watch it with me. Then he can fill me in on what I miss without me having to go back and actually watch it myself. Makes you wonder what the whole point of this exercise is, don't it?

I don't have television in the house. We have a television set - it currently lives in the basement under the stairs, along with the surround sound stereo system. One of these days there will be a theatre room downstairs. We do like movies - even the scary ones!

To add to the craziness, I'm just about finished a book that would make a movie I definitely would not watch - 'The Birth of Venus' is about a young woman daring to be an artist in Venice during the Renaissance and Savonarola's hell-fire efforts to rid the republic of its luxurious excesses. Lots of violence and savagery - I can read this stuff but not watch it, and I think I have a pretty good imagination.

I got the sauna home yesterday. It's still all in the back of the pickup truck, tightly parked in the garage because the tailgate is down. You'd have been proud of me, how I got it all wrapped up and tied down snug. Eugen at the shop loaded all the heavy pieces and fit them in good. I remembered two big ol' wool blankets (the door is glass), a plastic tarp and a bunch of ratcheting tie-down straps. He was surprised that (a) I had them and (b) I knew how to use them. Hmm. And thankfully the snow and rain held off until today because the load wasn't waterproof for sitting in the parking lot at work - only road safe and relatively clean.

I've tried three times now to load a picture of the quilt I finally finished for Marlon last Christmas. I don't know what the problem is - the colours are bright on my computer and in my Photoshop program, but the tones are all wrong (like the quail picture) when I load it. Perhaps because I have to pull them off the camera on one computer and transfer the pics to this one with a flash drive? I do want to show you that fibre arts are a significant part of my life, usually. And that I do finish projects, usually.

If you've persevered this far, I have a lovely bit for you to read that I gleaned from closely reading a ceiling fan installation booklet - trying to discover "what's this switch for?" and succeeding, also rewarded with this literary gem:

"The important safeguards and instructions appearing in this manual are not meant to cover all possible conditions and situations that may occur. It must be understood that common sense, caution and care are factors that cannot be built into this product. These factors must be supplied by the person(s) installing, caring for and operating the unit."

Isn't that just the absolutely best piece of writing you've read in a while?! And it makes you wonder what on earth happened that made such a warning necessary. And I thought the movie was scary.


A serious note for just one moment:


Dear Goodie past away just a few days ago after a long, hard fight with cancer and other nasties. Sincere love and condolences to MaryJane and her family. You did good, guys, and Goodie was well cared for - physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. We should all be so lucky in our life's journey. And think what a wonderful Christmas she's having!

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